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Thursday, May 24, 2012 2:29:48 PM America/Los_Angeles


In honor of Survivor's Tarzan, I've decided to wrap things up via poetry style. For the last time this season, my thoughts on Survivor: One World. Survivor: One World, free of Redemption Island, no need for a second or third chance. No returning players and more importantly, no one named Hantz! Back at camp, the women 5 strong, celebrated their beta victory since post merge on. Decisions, decisions, in this stage are truly make or break. Who to sit next to in the end, and who not to take. Kim and Sabrina talk of turning on Chelsea, but are their plans legit? Who will be left out at the final 3? Alicia hopes Chelsea sucks today, hopes things go her way, To win immunity, gloat and shout She'll do anything to get Chelsea out! The women climbed and stumbled, while Jeff watched from afar as he rags, Oops! Alicia just untied someone elses bags! Over the gate, through the maze, and across the net, victory's on everyone's mindset. Coming from behind, much like her gameplay to date, Kim came from behind, winning never felt so great! Alicia and Christina, 2 unpopular goats, did their best to oust Chelsea and get some votes. Their plan was a bust, and Alicia's million dollar dreams went up in dust. What's this I see, are my eyes playing tricks on me? It's the fallen comrades walk, absent from season 22 and 23! Kourtney Moon, joke of many a moons (pun intended), Matt the rooster thought he was playing the best game? How can that be when his game has already ended? Colton the villain did get his dues, even though he caused a fuss, Kim said it best, "...glad your not here." Heck, so are all of us. The women competed in their final balancing act, one of the weirdest designs to date. Christina came so close but lost, she knew she sealed her fate. Jeff was bumpuzzled at Christina's laid back stance, wondered why she wasn't fighting for a chance. Try to stir up drama, paranoia, and maybe some lies, Sorry Jeff, but Christina's vote off is no surprise. Day 39, the final 3 stand, an alliance from day 1, the ladies celebrated in the Samoan sun. All played with dignity, respect, and class, none of them acted out like a- well, you know what. Chelsea took the stand to make her million dollar case, carefully not rubbing it in everybody's face. Kim called herself the poker player, not the most original nickname, but hey, at least it's not "The Dragon Slayer." Sabrina talked about balance, going into One World. Lost her job 2 weeks before the game, losing was not an option for her. Now the jury speaks, those who've been burned the last couple of weeks. Unlike seasons past, there wasn't much bitterness in this cast. Master Jonas spoke up first. Ragged on Sabrina's physical game, told Chelsea she was cute, and wondered why Kim made unlikable Christina the final boot? Tarzan thanked God, used big words, reflections shared from life and won the hearts of the women when he professed his love for his wife. Alicia bragged she was the biggest threat to win the game, oh please, that comment was lame. Troyzan challenged Kim, didn't like her answer. Would it have helped if she called him master? Kat opened her heart, about past and present day. Does she hold a grudge? Surprisingly, the answer is no way! Jeff takes a deep breath. In just a few moments, the guessing will be no more Jeff's about to crown the winner of Survivor 24! One vote Kim, one vote Sabrina, the audience cheers, Two votes Kim, two votes Sabrina, the audience screams like its' New Years. Three, four, five, six, seven (not up), Kim's win is in the book! She outwitted, outplayed, outlasted, she had what it took! What do we have here? A great female player, sans flirting and confessional bashing Now a millionaire, with a nice souvenir! That's a wrap everyone! It's been a lot of fun covering the good, the bad, and the Colton this season! Who will be the returning players for "Survivor: Philippines"? See you this September for the next adventure! Have a great summer everyone and see you in September! Survivor Troy

Posted in Survivor Season #24 By Survivor Troy

Episode 12: Ladies & Gentelman, we have a blindside!

Monday, May 7, 2012 2:03:31 PM America/Los_Angeles


It’s that time of the season where emotions are high, tears are shed, and 3G never looked better on mobile phones…the Sprint family challenge! Characters like Tarzan and Christina, who aren’t exactly the most popular with their tribe mates, get a little more sympathy for having a loved one who cares about them. The embraces of the loved ones were typical, with loved ones like Tony “Sprint”-ing for Sabrina with love and enthusiasm. Tarzan looked like he was ready to renew his wedding vows with his wife, and Kat and her cousin, well, was odd to say the least. Jeff needs to lay off on the Survivors’ family members n the challenges. The loved ones don’t need to be subjected to Jeff’s ire and frustrations. Kat’s decision to take Kim and Alicia gave her a short term convenience, but a long term effect she couldn’t shake. It’s not the decision she made that was bad, but the way she handled it by laughing away her troubles and being too carefree made her look arrogant and too selfish (yes, there is such a thing) to take to the end. Kim’s making her end game plans now and wants to make sure there aren’t any other silent threats lurking in the game. Sabrina hasn’t made enemies in the game and could pull a Mother Teresa final tribal council speech, telling the jury she played fair and hard and also strategically when she gave Colton the idol. Kim’s comment on winning every immunity challenge from here on isn’t too farfetched. Her competition is primarily the other women and the only guy isn’t the sharpest when it comes to physical, and most notably, the mental challenges. This weeks’ immunity put Tarzan as the man in the middle, literally, when he hung on for dear life. To no surprise, Tarzan didn’t last too long in the challenge. Production must have wanted to speed up the elimination process to give the women the edge in the game (which they’ve had all season long). The reward gave Kat a high that came off too aggressively in the immunity challenge and she expected too much. Sorry Kat, you can’t have your cake and eat it too. Kat let her emotions show and it wasn’t the best gesture she could have given her competitor. Immaturity has no age limit, and with so many women in control of the game, Kat became expendable. On a side note, I noticed the shot of an island that I saw from the opening shot of the premiere of Heroes Vs. Villains. This is definitely a sign of Samoa fatigue and I can’t wait for a brand new location for the next 2 installments. I never thought I’d say this, but Kat’s blind side means one thing…THE GAME’S A FOOT! The women voting Kat out shows the absolute power mentality they have and how the reasons for voting someone off become pettier. With the finale coming closer and closer, it’s not exactly nail-biting to see someone get voted out strictly for their personality. The women have been strategically hard core when voting the guys out, they let things get personal with their own, a move that can be costly for someone if they don’t know how to butter but a bitter jury member. It’s hard getting voted out of the game, and Kat had a right to be emotional with her vote off. But her being emotional over Tarzan being there over her was a little much. How does she think the guys feel being benched on the jury while she remained in the game? Speaking of the guys, Kat will surely look back and regret not trying to flip the script and join the guys the past couple of weeks. Troyzan’s words of advice were too little too late, and now Kat will have to live with the regret. Just like that, we have a shakeup and Tarzan is back in the game! He’s not exactly going to be hyped up as a hero in the end game. Instead we’ll get more socially awkward and Phillip Sheppard-esque moments, giving us the end game sacrifice players’ dream of having. Kim’s been on a roll this season, and her confession of having to make a difficult decision shows a kink in her armor. There is still a chance the remaining players could grow a brain and start to worry about themselves now that the end is near. But if Kim gets a little more food or drink in her, she can think a little more clearly and rebound. Can Sabrina become the new “dark horse”? Is Kim going on an immunity run? What’s Tarzan wearing?

Posted in Survivor Season #24 By Survivor Troy

Episode 11: Shake Up? Anyone?

Friday, May 4, 2012 11:07:25 AM America/Los_Angeles


I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: all the challenges involving a pecking order needed to be bumped back to the prior week. Two in a row and the castaways still can’t get it in their heads to take a subtle cue from producers and MIX IT UP!

            What is a poser? I heard it in Panama: Exile Island when Courtney got the unfortunate honors. I went to and found this answer: a person who attempts to blend into a specific social group. Courtney was more of a poser than Troyzan, who deserves the title of pariah, but that doesn’t change his bottom feeder status. This challenge is sure to give a castaway a therapy session or two after all is said and done. Why rub salt in the wound when someone’s already realizing they’re on the outs?

            Give Kim a little bit of food and her mind is re-energized and ready to plot, scheme, and do so major damage control. I guess 7-Up isn’t that special after all.

            Personally, I cringe when fans support the idea of throwing a challenge to avoid putting yourself in danger, but this week it might not have been a bad idea to do that. Taking a bosom buddy that you’re already connected with and has good rapport with can draw sure jealousy amongst tribe mates. Taking someone other than a partner can be disastrous, just like when Ian decided to choose Tom over Katie to go on the reward in Palau.

            Yikes Troyzan! Subtlety does go a long way and it would have been good to use it on Kat, not bluntness! Kat might not smell the coffee like he wants, but making her feel bad and insulting her intelligence is the worst thing he did to his game this week.

            The girls’ chasing the pig around camp was pure comedy. Now where are the strong guys when they need them?  

            It was the moment Probst was waiting to shout out: “The Battle of the Zans!” I’d bet my Buff collection he was thinking about this moment in casting. Where was Tarzan’s jungle roar this week? It was his moment of glory and everyone was happy for him (more so for beating Troyzan).

            Last week Troyzan was the sore winner, and this week he’s the sore loser. Shame on Troyzan! Tarzan beat him fair and square and the only he has to blame is himself. I wonder how Troyzan would have reacted if a woman were to beat him in the challenge.

            Kat learned the meaning of the term you snooze you lose when she looked over just for a second and lost out in the second round. Maybe Kat was trying to cheat (an occurring theme from the women this season), but it backfired on her.

            Just when I forgot my dislike for Alicia, it came roaring back with a vengeance this week. I’d hate to be one of her students watching the show, knowing that she thinks her students are all dumbasses.

            Kim cakewalks another challenge and grabs immunity on top of a practically surrendered reward. The politics of this tribe is like a high school prom where everyone is just happy to be there and possibly be runner-up. Does winning a million dollars scare everyone? Can they not count that high (I’m pretty sure Kat’s a smart bet)?

            Probst was so eager for a shift in power this week, I could see him want to grab a Buff and join the game as a player himself and say, “What are you waiting for guys?!”

            Troyzan’s plan to psyche out the women with his faux idol didn’t help. What should he expect? Women know how to play mind games better than anyone and they knew a dud plan from a million miles away. It would have been great if Troyzan pulled out a coffee bag and handed it over to Kat telling her to, well, you know. I’ll take Troyzan’s coffee quote any day over Tarzan’s game’s a foot comment (which we thankfully escaped this week).

            If Kat doesn’t want to be considered a follower, she’s got to strike out and make a move. But breaking up the all women loyalty doesn’t look so appealing to the jury, so why would the players in the minority make that move, even if it is in her best interests to improve her odds.   

            Troyzan’s already voted out of the game, but that still doesn’t stop him from giving a death stare to his former tribe mates. Wow! After all his time in the game, Troyzan learned how to be subtle with his aggressive side to the women. Too bad it’s too little too late.   

            Another man down this week, and I can’t say the last man standing is one to root for. If Tarzan wins, good for him, but I’d rather be put out of my misery next week to just let the men’s tribe rest in pieces (and to serve as a reminder for future players how NOT to play the game). Unless Tarzan has a surprising confessional revealing this whole season he’s been playing a character, Tarzan’s been dragged along. His only strength at the merge is ironically his weak social game, but no Tarzan-isms will save him now.

            Next week it’s the Sprint family reward challenge where every tender moment will be interrupted by one of the show’s best sponsors. If this season isn’t doing anything for you, don’t forget the Ponderosa webisodes on where the guys reunite every week and realize how duped they’ve all been every week.  


            Can the women keep their emotions together?

            Will Tarzan win the immunity challenge?

Is next week a cat fight, or a Kat fight?


Posted in Survivor Season #24 By Survivor Troy

Episode 10: You don't mess with the Troyzan!

Wednesday, April 25, 2012 8:47:00 AM America/Los_Angeles


Troy knows his number is up and that things with the tribe are about to get a little awkward. Living at the camp with all the women who have turned on you is hard. But having to still live with them is like breaking up and living with several ex-girlfriends, and a kooky relative (Tarzan) to boot. To make matters worse, the women tell Troyzan the one thing you don’t tell a guy: MAN UP! It’s a tough pill to swallow, but if Troyzan wants to stay in the game, he needs to heed the advice of his tribe. There’s one word in “Survivor” that shouldn’t be used, and the word is: deserving. I don’t care who deserves to be in the game more, and it’s a pathetic strategy the players in the minority use time and again, and all it does is cause a bigger rift in the tribe. Maybe the general viewing audience will care if the deserving player gets voted out, but that’s why there’s “America’s Favorite Player.” If Troyzan keeps his negative attitude going, he won’t be getting many votes for this award. He’s not getting mine. “Survivor” took another cue from “National Geographic” this week with an army of ants carrying away a scorpion. It would have been cool if it was a bunch of spiders eating some flies, but that’s wishful thinking. This weeks’ reward challenge…Survivor Auction, where everyone’s a winner! Well, almost everyone. Where else can someone get coffee and donuts for $160 (aside from Starbucks)? Kim got the best deal with her shower and chocolate and peanut butter. Kim reminds me of a certain winner from the Amazon who wasn’t afraid to show her stuff and get away with the win. Hopefully Kat counted her money before giving it to Jeff. More importantly, I hope Kat has her sales job after this episode. Sorry Tarzan, but I don’t think the money they give in the auction is real. In this economy, don’t expect a bonus from producers, only your stipend earned from your time on the show. “Survivor” has been filming back-to-back locations for a few years now, and producers will make any cutbacks necessary. Right on cue: advantage in the next immunity challenge for Troyzan! I’m all for an underdog, but helping him increase his odds in the next challenge is ridiculous. After all, isn’t an underdog supposed to beat the odds, not get a free pass? Troyzan’s aggressiveness worked this week when he looked for another (possibly) hidden immunity idol. If he can get everyone afraid of what’s to come and make everyone tired during the idol hunt, then it’s not a loss if he doesn’t find one. If Troyzan can’t find an idol in the coming weeks, he needs to whip out some arts and crafts skills and plant some red herring idols. Finally, the match we’ve all been waiting for: TARZAN VS. TROYZAN! One of the few times this season is the tribe rooting for its brash and slightly odd plastic surgeon for a win. Not to take anything away from Troyzan’s win, but using the second chance challenges was a bit of a cake walk for the jungle man. I’m happy as a viewer for Troyzan’s win, but there is such a thing as being a sore winner. Even Tarzan couldn’t help but stop and caution Troyzan. There’s something wrong when Tarzan is giving advice on someone else’s social game. Plan PB (for point blank) was a nice try, but too little too late. Even if his plan were to work, no one wants to be aligned with an explosive personality (it rubs juries the wrong way). There is such a thing as too little too late in the game, and trying to plan big when there aren’t many people left shows desperation, and a lack of relationships with the other players. Well Troyzan, at least you’ve got Probst as a member of your fan club. But his gushing and support are only going to cement the lid on your coffin which is going to slam shut once you lose immunity. Troyzan’s only hope for a long term strategy crumbled quickly this episode, and he’ll only have the male jury vote to count on for the win. If he does make it to the end with 2 other women, he’ll have 5 men on the jury to count on, but having gender support on the jury isn’t a guaranteed win. Look at Matthew from Amazon, Twila from Vanuatu, Danielle from Panama. On paper, all these players had the gender card working for them, but when it came to the final vote; their social games didn’t result in a win. If Tarzan’s voting pattern holds up, he’ll vote with the women (big surprise). Leif leaves the game (who was he again?), and now the only 2 guys left in the game are the 2 Tarzan wannabes. The producers wanted to cast these 2 as rival adversaries looking for an epic showdown, and it looks like next week we’ll get it! Is there another hidden idol in the game? Will Troyzan be able to keep his streak alive? Can the bottom feeders come together and overthrow Kim?

Posted in Survivor Season #24 By Survivor Troy

Episode 9: The Web They Weave

Tuesday, April 17, 2012 7:09:56 PM America/Los_Angeles


          Some guys just can’t admit when things are wrong. When they do, it’s too little too late.

Jay’s premonition came true, but he didn’t act quick enough to avoid his vision from becoming a reality. Was he shopping at the same mall that Kat was a few weeks ago? Jay’s dream was his subconscious telling him it’s all over. If these dreams/premonitions keep happening, can Probst come in and dissect these instead of a monotonous Pagonging of the men? Maybe when Probst’s new talk show debuts in the fall, he can invite former castaways on his show to discuss their dreams since the show. Then again there’s always Dr. Phil.

          This is going to come as a surprise, but Tarzan actually made sense this week! Too bad he can’t practice what he preaches (more on this below).

          Good for Troyzan stepping up as the DIY challenge host. He’s spent a lot of time prepping for this moment in his “Survivor” career, and it shows (not that it’s a bad thing). Perhaps he should have saved the energy for the challenge.

          For once, Tarzan got a leg up on Troyzan in the challenge and got something he probably won’t get the rest of the season: respect! Christina’s only point for the tribe should give her old tribe mates reason to criticize her in future challenges.

          Jay thinking about chopping off Troyzan when he needs him most was just infuriating. To make matters worse, Jay made a disastrous move trying to work on Kat. If she’s on the bottom of the alliance, don’t show your fear, because it spreads faster than the plague.  

Did Kat just wake up? If the women were getting picked off one by one, how would she be fighting? Kat’s right when she said you have to think strategically to win this game. Of course it’s when she’s not doing the thinking. The jury isn’t going to respect her for talking a big game towards the end when she barely walked it.

          The black widow brigade has been making good use of their down time by weaving their webs of deceit. But wait, what’s this? Chelsea has a conscience? Chelsea is in sales, and needs to keep the mindset this is a huge million dollar deal that needs to be closed. Thankfully Kim, her unofficial sales mentor/comrade, refocused her eye on the prize.   

          Were the producers raiding the cookie jar? No matter what’s on the table, the castaways will go for it, but going for a dessert only menu seemed there was a sweet tooth bias in the culinary department.   

Leif nearly had his shining moment this week, but he pulled a Jason from Micronesia and let himself get talked down for a savory second place. Hopefully that burger was worth it. Hey Leif, why don’t you just let Chelsea have some of your prize money while you’re at it? Chelsea and the rest of the women should have grapes fed to them the way the guys have let their whole games split.

Chelsea made up her mind, and it looks like money is what she loves most and not her morals.  

          Troyzan won’t go down in the hall of fame of bad moves for not using his idol…but using it when he didn’t have to earn him an Alex Angarita premature idol nomination.

          But no thanks to Jay for spilling the beans and giving Kim the info on the (failed) last minute blind side! Nice try, but Kim’s already worked her magic and has more loyal soldiers than Jay or Troyzan ever had.

          The game is certainly afoot when the same man who warns the other men about a dominating female alliance joins the same women in their voting block! The numbers certainly aren’t with the guys, but he’s certainly shot himself in it this week by betraying what little trust was remaining with the guys.  

          It’s easy for Chelsea to say to go with her gut, since she has immunity around her neck. She will have to worry about her standing the following week especially if she doesn’t have immunity then, but having it now and being in a secret alliance makes her flexible.

          Once again, the votes are split and the guys can’t act as one. Well, at least the men (except for Tarzan) tried to vote off a woman, but are unfocused and keep neglecting the bigger picture.   

          Kim’s game is getting sharper and sharper each week. If she gets to the end, she can do what Amanda Kimmel didn’t do and that’s close the sale. As long as Chelsea doesn’t try to take credit for Kim’s game and/or use the emotion card to sway the guys, it’s hers to lose.

Judging by the previews for next week, Troyzan either goes crazy or goes on an immunity run and becomes the underdog we’ve been waiting for. He’s shaping up to be a Terry Deitz and go on an immunity run, along with a take no prisoner’s attitude. If that happens, the streak won’t matter much because he’ll piss off the majority of the women, who will mostly make up the jury.


          How will Troyzan fight back?

          Can Kim keep a hold of her idol?

          Will Tarzan say “the game’s a foot?”


The message boards are yours so sound off!



Posted in Survivor Season #24 By Survivor Troy

Episode 8: Vanuatu Deja Vu

Monday, April 9, 2012 8:48:20 AM America/Los_Angeles


          It’s been a few weeks since Survivor lost its swing vote turned mastermind Colton. While Colton is no more, Survivor has given us a brand new manipulator to put the men in their place. Her name is Kim. She’s unassuming, poised, and best of all, doesn’t trash talk her tribe mates like you know who.

Jay wants a woman gone this week in order to level the playing field. What is it with being on an even field with your competition? Jay’s trying to play a fair game, and while that posturing looks good when it’s 2 tribes and wanting to make him seem trustworthy, it will ultimately backfire. Fair is a four letter word that people do respect, but this isn’t Little League Baseball, or the Boy Scouts. Jay and Troyzan hope that getting rid of Jonas wasn’t a bad idea, but it’s a little late for that.  

          How did the school yard pick go? Tarzan being left out of the equation is no surprise, but where did everyone else fall? I’m guessing it was when Jeff announced the final line-up before yelling “Survivors ready? Go!” The pecking order has been a telling sign for castaways to see where they stand and serves as the wakeup call for the way the game will play out (Marquesas, All-Stars). But based on the silence at tribal council when Jeff asked if anyone felt in danger, no one got the memo.

          Just when we thought we were safe…product placement strikes back! The “7UP Original Moments” weren’t enough for the sponsors; a little camera time was inevitable, even before Leif sat on the logo.   

          Tarzan is right this week when he said the game’s a foot: the game is headed in a direction called “Vanuatu Déjà Vu,” and it’s heading their fast! The women know how to push the men’s buttons, and they will wait until the time is right and show their girl power.

          Was Tarzan taking a book from the Rupert Boneham shelter building manual? He put another nail in his social coffin with the firewood situation and turning it into a “don’t hate me because I’m a plastic surgeon” statement. “I’m not that stupid.” Is Tarzan serious? This isn’t exactly the type of statement you want to hear from your surgeon.

          In the most ironic, or should I say bum-puzzling moments of the season, Jay won immunity! In another puzzle immunity challenge (with false alarm wins), he pulled off a come from behind victory! Don’t get me wrong, I love an underdog story, but Jay’s comment was too obvious and would have been more satisfying if his comment were left on the cutting room floor. The editors did themselves a disservice by putting in the comment and going to great lengths of editing a climactic final leg. Every time someone looked like they had the win, it was back to (almost) square one.

          Everything’s going great for Kim and nothing can-HOLD IT! Chelsea lets Alicia and Christina in on the plan and now Jay and Troyzan did the unthinkable…realize the all woman’s alliance isn’t dead!

Kim’s plan to hide the alliance by splitting the vote is a risky one, but one that needs to be played. She’s kicked up enough dust, that before it settles, she’ll have plenty of time to reaffirm her core alliance with the new Salani. Her move was similar to when Cirie broke up the vote at the final 5 in Exile Island. If she can appease Troyzan and stay loyal to him, she’ll muscle out more of the muscle from the original men’s tribe.

          Troyzan being in the minority isn’t good. He needs to carve a new path for himself and rid the word ‘loyalty’ from his dictionary, pronto! He spread himself out and made a new deal which has held up relatively well, but he needs to move himself at least another step further to increase his chances.

          Jay’s waffling back and forth on the numbers game is a bad sign for him. He’s stuck at a moral (and logical) crossroad and can’t find the confidence in 1 path and stick with it. He or Troyzan need to win immunity next week, form a counter alliance, and play both idols to protect themselves and rock Kim from her seat.  

          Why does everyone feel safe at tribal council? To make matters worse, Troyzan admitted he didn’t pack his bag, which is one of the game’s biggest unwritten rules. There’s a Survivor god and he’s taking notes on all moves. Kim reiterating that the tribes swapped and new relationships developed was ballsy, but honest when directing it to the tribe, although, I wouldn’t have been so open about keeping my “options open” to the tribe.   

          Kim is the mastermind to beat right now without a clear opponent. Only Chelsea could possibly slip up and not give the guys the affirmation they need to keep them in place. If Kim is the winner, I hope Jeff doesn’t ask her what her defining strategic moment was, because we’ll be treated to a winning endorsement from 7UP, with the expected close-up. If it wasn’t for that 7UP, we don’t know how her mind would have worked. Kim’s vote splitting AND her subtle, yet open comments at tribal council, a truly original moment!  


          Will the guys strike back?

          Can Troyzan strike back at Kim?

          Who’s going to get Tarzaned?


The boards are open, so sound off!

Posted in Survivor Season #24 By Survivor Troy

Episode 7: Nice Guys finish last!

Wednesday, April 4, 2012 10:06:55 AM America/Los_Angeles


            All bets are off. It’s anybody’s game. There’s no telling who’s in control. What do these phrases have in common? There all cliché, but more importantly, are all used by die-hard fans when the merge happens, and after this episode, all three can be used.  

On paper, the tribes are evened up, 6 men and 6 women, but “Survivor” is more than just a numbers game. Relationships have formed, and if the guys were crazy enough to give back immunity to get rid of Bill, numbers won’t matter to them.

          Now that Colton is gone, Christina can take a breather. Alicia is still shocked that Christina is in the game, but that shouldn’t surprise her, since cockroaches can survive anything.

          Even with the midnight feast, Alicia still finds time to sharpen her knives, and plan for the future. She still feels betrayed by Colton’s exit and that the idol should have gone to her. Thankfully this didn’t happen, in fact something better happened, more on that later.

          How did Jonas get a coconut to caramelize in the jungle? He needs to apply for Top Chef before doing Survivor again. Before Jonas could stir up more coconuts, Tarzan stirred the pot and made a scene. Just like Phillip Sheppard’s rice distribution theory to the tribe last year, Tarzan has perfected the fine art of making mountains out of mole hills.  

          Tikiano isn’t a bad name for the tribe. Maybe it should have been called the Grumpianos, since not everyone is happy to be one group so soon, especially Jay. Jay’s frustration that the tribes are one again is understandable, since his alliance is outnumbered 8 to 4, but with enough stealth and good moves, can go the distance.

            Leif “under”-performed in the reward challenge this week, and Manono really should have thought the move out a little more.

          Watching Jonas finally lose his temper with Tarzan was like watching “The Honeymooners.” I was waiting for Jonas to scream “ONE OF THESE DAYS TARZAN! BANG, POW, RIGHT IN THE KISSA!”

          Unsurprisingly, that fighting led to their teams’ demise and Alicia, Chelsea, Christina, Jay, Sabrina, and Troyzan won the reward. I was a little disappointed that Troyzan didn’t give a good old fashioned jungle yell and beat his chest.

          What do you know? Another idol is back in play. I guess Colton’s souvenir didn’t like him very much. It’s refreshing the producers want the idol to have some impact in the game and not be left a “what if?” question for all eternity.

          Jonas and Tarzan’s big argument was all about one thing…timing. Timing is everything in Survivor, and planning things too far in advance can hurt you. Jonas had a good point when he said that deals should be made at the last minute. Players are less likely to go back on their word right before a vote is about to occur, since there is less time to wiggle out of the deal and make a side alliance. Reasoning with Tarzan is futile. He is an older guy, set in his ways. He tried to pull a “Coach” and throw out the “fall on his sword” comment. His defensiveness and pettiness is hurting the men’s only hope of sticking together as one group.

          Its official, Troyzan is the King of the Island! Not 1 but 2 idols this week. His first idol was pretty easy to find. They need to go back to the idol feast in Gabon and put those idols in close group settings (where the group has to work together to find it, and to make matters worse, make a group decision). But with these castaways, the producers don’t feel the need.

          Troyzan’s second idol came from a challenge I like to call “That’s what she said.” This was the first individual immunity from last years’ Redemption Island, and Jeff decided it was time to let all the metaphors and one-liners out. Those comments got kind of old after a while, and hopefully Probst won’t be using this for his Emmy reel this year for Outstanding Reality Host.

          Yes Troyzan, this isn’t a dream, Probst is really touching you and you can’t be stopped right now. Don’t get any weirder or you’ll start reminding us of Erik Reichenbach’s gushing at Probst on episode 12 of Micronesia. 

          Jonas decided it was time to stop being Mr. Nice Guy and show some edge this week. But it’s the merge and being the quiet one is a threat to everyone. This is a group that isn’t letting anyone fall through the cracks and it seems like their already getting their end games on. At least the players aren’t playing emotionally and keeping personal and business matters separated.

          Tarzan is definitely this seasons’ Shambo. Socially awkward and isn’t afraid to shout it out. Tarzan never got over the fact that he isn’t in an ER, and now his outcast status has given him the unlikable finalist card. The question is will the tribe continue to put up with the jilted jungle boy for the rest of the game?

          Can Jay keep emerging as a power player?

Will Kim or Troyzan play their idols?

          What will Tarzan do to annoy everyone?


The boards are yours! Sound off!




Posted in Survivor Season #24 By Survivor Troy

Episode 6: A Shock to the System!

Tuesday, April 3, 2012 9:59:40 AM America/Los_Angeles


          There are no coincidences in the universe, and especially in the comments made by the remaining contestants. Even if your don’t read far into the editing, tonight’s comments were strong indicators of events to come, especially in the future, now that the merge is imminent.

          When your Colton’s target, there’s nowhere to run or hide from the vote, and worse, Colton’s wrath. Poor Christina’s already lost her alliance partner Monica, but now she believes she’s as bad as Colton, and Alicia say she is.

There seems to be a social history on “Survivor” with female Asian American contestants not getting along with their tribe mates. Shii-Ann (Thailand and All-Stars), Becky (Cook Islands), and now Christina just reinforces a reality TV stereotype that needs to be broken.

What did Christina do to make them so mad to begin with? Why is the tribe so cruel to not even let her sleep comfortably in the shelter at night? I’ve been holding off on checking out the secret scene video clips on this season, but now might be a good time to check out the videos to see if I’ve been missing anything significant.

But why go out of their way to make them feel worse than they already are? It’s the Boston Rob effect that carries out to a player who not only digs graves for other players, but dances on them endlessly. Other players do take notice and either goes after them for being too aggressive, or worse, vote against them at the end of the game. Ponderosa jurors are no longer monitored what they say to each other, so players in the game need to beware of their words and actions.

What was up with Kat’s dream? She was being killed by Alicia in the mall? Was she dreaming Alicia was a zombie and in another remake of “Dawn of the Dead”? It’s been a while since we’ve heard from Kat, and this comment isn’t a good sign of her finish in the game. It’s a Purple Kelly edit where she’ll be thrown out mid-merge, and along with her “appendix” comment, is bound for a lackluster finish.

It’s sickening when players overdo the ostracize card to others in the minority. Leave it to morale killer Colton to rub salt, dirt, and glass in the wounds when Christina’s already exhausted and can’t keep up. It also doesn’t help when there’s arguing going on between tribe mates late at night. I know it must be hard to get any real sleep at night, but to be at each others’ throats is mentally exhausting.   

          What could be sweeter than Salani’s actual reward? The simple fact that there was no product placement! I couldn’t believe my eyes! No close-ups on blatant corporate logos to be seen and for one, I don’t mind if this becomes a regular thing.  

Leave it up to Colton to still think about the game even in extreme pain! Even though it’s still a game of social politics and voting people off, it’s still surviving out in the wild, and at times you do need your enemy, especially during all the hardships. He basically said, “Okay Christina, you can nurse me back to health, then I’ll cut your throat once I get my second wind.”

          If Colton wants a souvenir from the show, he should just buy some of the props that are auctioned off at the end of the season. His parents can afford it.

          Colton’s comment to Christina about her “options” in the game weren’t lost. In the “Survivor” universe, players are vulnerable of medical evacuations in sixth episodes (Mike Skupin in Outback, Russell Swan in Samoa).

          Colton keeping the idol is definitely the polarizing moment this season. The idol that won’t be played will make purists (a.k.a. idol haters) of the game happy. However, if Colton was a true fan of the game, he would have given the idol back. Now that there’s one less idol in play, the game is going to shift towards the new Salani, and as a fan of the game, it’s infuriating when one side controls the game post merge.

Kim has the other idol that can change the course of the game if she plays it right. Her foursome alliance with Chelsea, Jay, and Troy-zan can go a long way, if they don’t get too cocky (unlike the Rotu 4 in Marquesas), they can go all the way.

          Why go to tribal council when there isn’t going to be a vote? Sure it’s a good opportunity for the players to feel each other out before the merge happens, but they’ve all had a little over 2 weeks in the game to establish those moves. At least there was a payoff, even without a vote off.

          It’s a shame when a twist is stopped prematurely. This season’s swap barely lasted 2 episodes, which is typical, but it would have been nice for the dust to settle a little bit. I guess the producers didn’t want the ‘one world’ theme to be forgotten, so a merge was inevitable. 

Hopefully the merge tribe name won’t be a simple combination of the former tribes. What will the show do without Colton? It looks like Alicia is going to take over the title of the one we love to hate. She already got into several fights with Christina, when one 1 of the 2 goes, expect more fireworks before her torch is snuffed (hopefully soon). The bigger questions are who will be the hero? Whose going to be the mastermind? Can Leif get any more screen time? Act I of One World, the Colton show, is over, and now we begin Act II, where it’s anyone’s game.

It’s all next week!

Posted in Survivor Season #24 By Survivor Troy

Episode 5: Drop your Buff!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012 11:39:26 AM America/Los_Angeles


If anyone’s head is still reeling from last weeks’ mind blowing decision, this week might have been too much to handle. Colton was still snarky, the men continue to let them be shepherded, but a few precedence took place (about time)!

The women shouldn’t second guess the situation. There odds improved all because the guys took a chance on voting out Bill, and not poisonous Colton.

Alicia, you’ve read the minds of the fans regarding last weeks’ decision by the men. The men have given the million dollars away to the women. But the road for the women this week got a little rocky and they shouldn’t be practicing their final tribal speech just yet.

The words a castaway loves or hates when things can’t get any better, or worse…DROP YOUR BUFFS! In Cook Islands-déjà vu fashion, eggs were smashed, paint was splattered and the tribes were swapped!

The producers can’t be too confident in the men to make a strategic decision to save themselves. Swapping tribes is risky for producers, since they can lose an extremely popular player, likable or unlikable, swaps must be timed wisely. Gabon’s swap cost them Ace, a character gone before his time (Ace for a future All-Stars!). Could anyone imagine how Samoa would have turned out if Russell got voted out after a swap? That’s Survivor history few want to imagine.

The new Manono might not be filled with the strongest players, but Colton added nothing great in challenges. The challenges are still mental at the core, and Colton needs to stop whining about what he doesn’t have and bring what he does have to the game. Colton’s pessimistic attitude adds insult to the already injured tribe having lost both challenges and starting over at a new camp.

In an interesting turn of events, Leif finally shined this week! Leif proved his height isn’t a detriment. Whether it’s climbing over hurdles or getting aggressive in the basketball challenge, Leif doesn’t take his eye of the prize. Leif should just be called the honey badger, because he knows how to get the job done and doesn’t let anything stop him! But Leif wasn’t the only one to shine.

Ladies and gentlemen, behold Troy-zan the chicken man! Leave it to the jungle man to be in touch with his inner animal and get the tribe food this week. After all, this is the same guy who lives with monkeys. This segment makes me believe that one day, “Survivor” can be about the survival aspect and how total strangers can survive the elements? I won’t hold my breath for that, but a fan can dream.

Jonas is shaping up to be the power player that will knock Colton down (sooner or later). Jonas needs to squash the half of him that falls for Colton. He has a relationship with him as a former misfit, but relationships need to change in order to get further in the game.

After weeks’ of speculation, Kim found the second idol, and in typical “Survivor” fashion, gave her secret away to her alliance partner. What’s going on when the survivors just blab away they have an idol? They must think, “Well, the show averages 10 million viewers a week and they’ll know my secret, what’s another 1, 2, or 3?” Production was smart to take away clues for the idols. Ever since the failed Russell factor in Nicaragua, everyone’s proven they don’t need any help. It’s just annoying that production doesn’t make the castaways work a little harder to get the idol. Amanda had to get her hands dirty for her idol in Micronesia, and Russell had to dig for days on Heroes vs. Villains to get his idol run going.

Colton, it’s not your tribe mates wanting to kill you in Alabama, it’s the fans who aren’t happy with your comments. Eminem hasn’t offended as many people as Colton has, I can only think how loud the audience will boo Colton once he’s on the reunion. What’s worse is he’ll probably get at least 30 minutes of questions while Leif will probably get 1 if he’s lucky.

Did Jonas really say he’ll be Colton’s “rhymes with witch”? I thought he already was, along with the other guys. Jonas, be careful what you wish for in “Survivor,” it just might come true.

Tarzan needs a new rhyming system to help remember names of his tribe mates. I can only imagine how Colton is telling Tarzan the game plan.

Tarzan: “Hey Colton, who are we voting out tonight? It’s Marcia, right?”

Colton: “No Tarzan, it’s Monica. Remember, it’s time to celebrate Hanukkah, were voting out Monica. Next week, See ya Christina. Got it?”

Tarzan: “Tarzan likes rhyme time.”

Tarzan’s like a cross between Cao Boi and Sean Kenniff. He’s full of mannerisms and nuggets of wisdom, and he needs to be told how to vote along the way.

By the way, is Leif turning into Phillip? Explanate, are you kidding me? The heat and hunger is getting to him, so I’ll go easy on him.

With Manono in struggling at a new camp, it won’t be too long before the tribes merge and the feasts and super size rewards are back. Finally, more personalities and strategies emerged, and the Colton show might come to an end…if we’re lucky.


Will Colton really push someone into the fire?

Who is going to get injured and possibly removed from the game?

When is Tarzan going to remember everyone’s name?


The boards are open, so sound off!

Posted in Survivor Season #24 By Survivor Troy

Episode 4: Doing the Unthinkable

Monday, March 12, 2012 2:01:18 PM America/Los_Angeles


Hey Survivor Buff Fanatics!

          Controversy, confusion, and craziness (not in a racist way), this is what a great episode of “Survivor” is made of! Just when you think you’ve seen it all, there’s something else. I’m impressed Leif finally got some airtime this week, but it wasn’t the airtime anyone hopes for, more on this later.

Why can’t we all just get along? The men and women can’t agree on anything, period. Now Jonas, the voice of reason stumbled a bit and let his frustrations shows with the women this week. If calm, cool, and collected Jonas can’t get through to the women, who can?  

          One lesson to learn on battle of the sex’s seasons is never taunt the opposing tribe, or karma will rear its big ugly head around. In the Amazon, the men put their feathers in the immunity idol, and sure enough, they lost the challenge. The “luck” comment was this season’s ultimate jinx moment and the taste of victory (without donuts) belonged to the women. With all the cattiness and competitiveness I’m surprised the women didn’t say “Who’s screaming now Tarzan? Take that!”

          To add insult to injury, the tribe continues to let Colton reign supreme in camp. King Colton’s been arrogant, obnoxious and everything in between the last couple of weeks. The only thing he hasn’t done to ‘his’ tribe is made them look for the other hidden immunity idol and make them throw it into the ocean, while feeding him grapes.     

Alright, Colton’s “ghetto trash” and “Oompa Loompa” comments to Bill and Leif were bad enough, but Colton’s Helen Keller comment was the straw that broke the camel’s back for me! Colton needs to get punished when he gets home. The best punishment would be to put him on a future season against Brandon AND Russell Hantz and get en-Hantzed, and put in his place! Now that would be some major fireworks!  

          The Homer Simpson “D’oh!” moment goes to Leif for faltering in front of Colton to defend his good friend Bill. Backpedalling only leaves tire marks. Those tire marks can’t be removed in the game. Moves like this are meant with good intentions but Leif made himself look like a 2 timer in progress, and now he’s got a bad image he most likely won’t be able to shake.

          What is it with women on “Survivor” named Alicia having a short temper? Alicia from Australia and All-Stars wasn’t afraid to speak her mind, and Alicia this season is no different. The trash talking before the immunity challenge wasn’t good for the women, especially since they were on the high of winning the reward challenge.  

          How ironic that Tarzan spotted some ‘cheetahs’ in the immunity challenge? Love it! But what’s wrong with Probst and company?! Encouraging the women to cheat on a challenge? If the women can cheat by looking over at the men’s puzzle, how about letting the men go over and take their puzzle apart?  

          Thankfully, the cheating didn’t pay off and the men reclaimed immunity, but the men decided to pull the craziest group decision in “Survivor” history.

          In a normal “Survivor” world, the women would be going to tribal council and voting out weak link Alicia, but in ‘one world,’ this isn’t the case. Where is the mathematician on this tribe to let the guys know about their decisions? It was bad enough with the strong guys and their majority of 4 (in a tribe of 9), now they want to voluntarily even up the number of tribe members when they can have a 2 person lead on the women. Go figure.  

          I need my urban dictionary revised, because ‘bum-puzzled’ is new to me.

          What’s more bum-puzzling is Leif spilling the beans, AGAIN! There’s only 1 reset button in the game and hitting it again in front of the whole tribe is only spelling disaster for Leif. Now I know why they showed Leif sleeping in the box late at night in the beginning of the episode. Its Leif’s coffin and he is nailing it shut this week with his actions.

          Is Colton discriminative against stand-up comics? Hey Colton, any job you’re paid for is a real job, and just because it’s not 9 to 5, doesn’t make it any less of a job. Colton obviously doesn’t get the life of an artist and how struggles are a common part of life. They don’t teach a lot of things in private school apparently.

          This season has turned into “Crash” with all the intolerance and racist conversations running rampantly. What’s crazier is Tarzan defending Colton’s actions, while condemning them as well, but he still walked around eggshells to avoid making King Colton upset. Its bad enough Tarzan let Colton bull whip him at the challenge, now he’s defending him at tribal.

          Its official, Colton is going to lose some power on the next episode, and what goes up in “Survivor” must come down, and Colton shouldn’t be an exception…hopefully. Just when things couldn’t get any crazier, a shakeup happens and it’s anyone’s game.  

          Who will swap tribes?

          Can Colton dodge another bullet?

Will Troy-zan beat his chest and contend with Tarzan?


Posted in Survivor Season #24 By Survivor Troy

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